When the Walls Fall Down
by afitwilight
Summary: Post Committed. Nick finds Sara in the locker room after she returns from the mental hospital. NS friendship.


Title: When the Walls Fall Down

Spoilers: Post Committed, Season 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing dealing with CSI or it's characters. Too bad for me.

Summary: Nick finds Sara in the locker room after she returns from the mental hospital.

Pairings: Nick/Sara friendship.

Sara slowly made her way to the locker room. She had watched as the officer took Nurse McKay into custody. Grissom had walked out the room moments before. Her emotional state was questionable, she felt angry, scared, and saddened all at the same time. She walked into the locker room and stood in front of her locker. She began thinking and became so lost in her own thoughts she didn't hear anyone enter. A hand landed on her shoulder and she jumped.

"Sara, are you okay?"

She turned slightly to see a very concerned Nick staring at her.

"I'm fine." Was her automatic response.

Nick shook his head. "No, you're not."

She didn't respond, instead she focused on her locker. She refused to let Nick see her in her current state.

Nick wasn't about to let this drop. As gently as he could, he wrapped his hand around her arm and turned her around.

"I heard what happened." He told her.

Sara glanced up at him. "What do you want me to say?"

"That you're not fine and that even you need someone to talk to."

She pulled away from him and sat down on the bench. She didn't want to discuss what happened, she didn't want to think about it, and she most certainly didn't want to break down in front on Nick.

"How about this," Nick suggested. "Why don't you come over to my place? I'll fix breakfast and we can watch a movie or something."

Sara didn't answer him right away. Her mind was flashing back to the mental hospital. She could have died today. In fact, Sara would have sworn that her life was going to end in a place she never wanted to be in again. She barely felt Nick sit down beside her and wrap his arm around her.

"You don't need to be alone right now."

Sara finally faced him. "I'm sorry. I don't think I would be very good company."

He smiled. "That's okay. Any company is better than no company at all."

Sara sighed and gave in. Maybe spending some time with Nick would help her. "Okay."

"Let's go." Nick stood up and offered his hand to Sara. She took it and he gently helped her up. Never letting go of her hand, the pair made their way out of the lab and to Nick's truck.

Nick opened the door to his apartment allowing Sara to go in first. After making sure his door was locked, he followed her into his living room. Sara sat down on his couch.

"You want some coffee?" Nick asked.

She nodded. "That would be good."

He walked into his kitchen leaving Sara alone. She glanced around the room noticing how different things looked. Nick had moved his couch and TV around. He had new pictures on his bookshelf. Sara stood up and made her way over to the shelf. She looked at photos smiling. There was one with Nick's whole family. Some of the photos had little kids whom Sara guessed where his nieces and nephews. One picture caught her attention; it was one of the whole team. They were celebrating Greg's promotion to CSI level 1. The people in the picture looked so happy. Sara began to wonder if they would ever be that happy again.

"I love that picture." Nick replied as he came back in the room holding two cups of coffee.

Sara turned her attention to Nick. "Yeah, that was a good day." She took a cup of coffee from Nick's hand and made her way over to the couch.

Nick followed her and sat down beside her. "I've really missed spending time with you."

"Me too." Sara said and took a sip of her coffee.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around as much."

"Nick, you're on a new shift, you had to adjust to a new schedule. That's enough in itself. It's hard to stay in touch when your life takes a completely different direction."

"Maybe, but I feel like that since the shifts were changed, we've all grown apart. Sometimes it feels like we're all against each other."

Sara nodded. "You're referring about Catherine and me." She placed her coffee cup down on the table in front of her.

"No, I'm talking about all of us."

"Look, I don't know what Catherine told you but.."

"It doesn't matter." Nick cut her off. "What does matter is that you're not the same Sara you used to be. You're more depressed, withdrawn, and personally you're starting to scare me."

Sara sighed. "I appreciate the concern but I'm fine. The incident with Catherine and Ecklie was my fault. I've been really moody lately."

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter."

"You could have died today. It does matter."

"My mental state has nothing to do with what happened at the hospital."

"Maybe not, but you're refusing to talk about it. Sara, I want to help you but I don't know how."

"There's nothing you can do." She replied.

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do Nick!" She yelled. She instantly regretted it. "I'm so sorry." She held her head in her hands.

Nick placed his hand on her shoulder. "What's going with you?"

"Nothing. I'm just really tired of having to defend myself."

"Defend yourself? Nick asked not quite sure what she was talking about.

Sara removed her hands and glanced over at Nick. "According to Grissom, I'm rationalizing everything. My fight with Catherine, my argument with Ecklie."

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"Didn't Catherine tell you?" She countered.

"I want to hear your version of the story."

Sara sighed. "Why, so you can see whose story sounds more honest?"

"Sara." His tone was firm. He wasn't in the mood for her attitude. He knew Sara got defensive when she felt she was being attacked but for once, he wasn't going to back down. He was worried sick about her and he wasn't going to let her destroy herself.

"Fine." She knew she wasn't going to win. "Catherine and I just interviewed a suspect and when we came out we started arguing. She told me that I go off the deep end when it comes to domestic violence cases and I told her that she lets her sexuality cloud her judgment and that I was going to go over her head. That's when Ecklie came in and sent me to his office. You know the rest."

He nodded. Sara had been suspended and Ecklie wanted to fire her. Grissom came to her defense and talked Ecklie out of it.

"What about today?" Nick asked. "What happened?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"You need to talk about it Sar, otherwise it will start to eat you alive."

"Look Nick, I've already talked about it." Sara said.

"To whom, Grissom?" Nick asked.

"Yeah."

Nick huffed. "No offense Sar, but Grissom isn't always the best person to talk to."

Sara frowned and glared at Nick.

"He's my supervisor and he was there when it happened. Naturally I would talk to him about it."

"I understand that, but don't you think it would be better to talk to others about it."

She shook her head no. "It's not that easy Nick."

"Sure it is."

"No, it's not. This goes deeper than just today and my suspension."

"You mean the DUI?"

"No, but that sure didn't help."

Nick reached for her hand. "You can tell me anything, you know that right?"

Sara sighed. "It's hard."

He squeezed her hand and encouraged her to go on. "Tell me."

A tear cascaded down her cheek. "I can't."

"You can't or you won't?" Nick questioned.

"I." Sara broke free of his hold and jumped up from the couch. She quickly made her way to the door. She couldn't stand being here any longer. She needed to get out. She needed to run.

"Sara! Wait!" Nick ran after her and grabbed her arm before she could go out the door.

"Please let me go." Sara pleaded.

Nick shook his head with determination. "Not like this. Tell me what's wrong."

Sara's tears began to fall harder. Nick wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into an embrace. He began to soothe her and get her to calm down.

He pulled away and cupped her face. "Please tell me. I want to help."

Sara's walls came crashing to the ground and she collapsed into Nick. She held him and didn't want to let go. Nick led her back to his couch and sat them both down. Sara began telling Nick about her childhood and about how her mother murdered her father. She told him about being thrown into foster care and how it was like seeing her own mother in a mental hospital. By the end of her story, both she and Nick were crying. Nick just held her. He knew something horrible happened to Sara in the past. He had his theories along with everyone else in the lab, but none of the theories were like the story she just told him.

"I'm so sorry Sara."

She wiped a tear from her cheek and offered up a smile to him. "Why, it's not your fault."

"No one should ever have to go through that."

Sara nodded knowing that Nick understood. She had her own theories that something awful happened to Nick when he was younger.

"Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you promise me something?"

"Sure." He said and reached for her hand.

"If you ever need to talk about anything, you'll come to me."

Nick smiled, "I promise."

"Good, now promise me something else." She said.

"Okay, what?"

She stared him in the eyes. "Never tell anyone what I just told you. I don't want people to know."

He understood. He had his own secret he didn't anyone to know. Aside from Catherine, who forced it out of him, no one knew about what happened to him. For now, that's how he wanted to keep it. Maybe in time he'll take Sara up on her offer but not right now. There had already been too many tears shed today. His story would only cause more.

"I promise I won't tell anyone."

She gave him a weak smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

They sat in silence for a few moments until Sara spoke. "If I remember correctly someone was supposed to make me breakfast."

Nick grinned. "Yeah, I wonder if IHOP delivers."

Sara laughed and playfully slapped him on the arm. "Funny, now go and make breakfast. No meat!"

Nick stoop up. "Yes ma'am." He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." She replied. "Now stop stalling and get to cooking."

He laughed and headed into his kitchen. He was probably one of the happiest men he knew. He made a promise to himself that even though the team was split, he would always make time for Sara. That was a promise that he would gladly keep.

THE END


End file.
